


It's a Fake Dating Fic

by Redleaveshavefallen



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Fake/Pretend Relationship, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-20
Updated: 2015-06-20
Packaged: 2018-04-05 06:00:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,456
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4168644
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Redleaveshavefallen/pseuds/Redleaveshavefallen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I am just not going to pull any punches here.</p>
            </blockquote>





	It's a Fake Dating Fic

**Author's Note:**

> This is so incredibly self indulgent and the amount of cares I give is Zero.

“You want me to _what_?” Kageyama waited for Tsukishima to say he was kidding, but the other merely continued to glare at him with crossed arms. There was no playful smirk on his face.

“Yamaguchi is a bit concerned that one of the girls who confessed to me recently is stalking me. At this rate, any other girls interested in me could get hurt…and I’ll be majorly creeped out. And yes, I already tried telling her to stop.” Tsukishima frowned at his shoulder, jaw tense. Kageyama couldn’t even say it sounded like bragging. “So I need you to pretend to be dating me.”

“Why me?” Kageyama felt himself pull back a bit in disgust, a grimace screwing up his features.

“Because I need someone I can interact with, but not anyone I’m close enough with so that it would hurt our relationship. I don’t care about you, so it’s perfect.” At this he finally gave a small smile, but it didn’t make Kageyama feel better.

“Why not the girls? You don’t talk to our managers much.”

“So I should ask Yachi to be hated by some stalker girl? Or maybe Kiyoko? Please. Plus, no more girls will ask me out if they think I’m gay—so the stalker won’t target them.”

Kageyama grit his teeth. He had a point—and the mere possibility of making the managers pretend to be his girlfriends was already terrifying on its own. “Okay, why not Hinata?”

Tsukishima’s smirk grew in size. “I have standards, King. If I’m going to be dating anyone, they will be extremely talented and at least somewhat good-looking.”

Before Kageyama could comment on Tsukishima’s statement, he had already clapped Kageyama on the shoulder and walked from the gym, ready to go home. “Sorry to stop you just as you were about to leave. And… thank you in advance. As of tomorrow, you’re my boyfriend.” He waved a hand over his head in farewell. “Goodnight, Kageyama.”

 

* * *

 

 

Of course, Tsukishima had timed it. A girl had recently been giving him hints that she had planned to confess. So when she did the next day, he already knew what to say.

“I’m sorry, but I’m already dating someone.”

And when she asked who, it was surprisingly easy for his mouth to form the words “Kageyama Tobio”. As they parted ways, he could already guess how quickly the news was going to spread. And if _she_ wasn’t going to spread it, well, he had other plans.

 

* * *

 

 

At the sound of the lunch bell Tsukishima was already making his way to Kageyama’s classroom. Opening the door, he leaned against the frame and causally called Kageyama’s name, lifting his lunch as a gesture that they should eat together. Kageyama, wearing a small frown on his face, slowly stood up with his own lunch and walked over to Tsukishima. A few people were staring; it looked like word had already started getting around.

“So we’re really doing this?” he whispered when he was close enough. Tsukishima nodded, flashing Kageyama a smile.

“Yes, yes we are.” He turned and started walking, laughing a bit as Kageyama followed obediently. “Look, I’m giving the king orders. That’s a riot.”

Kageyama jabbed Tsukishima with his elbow, which only made Tsukishima laugh harder. After a moment he turned slightly, grabbing Kageyama’s arm and pulling him to his side. Kageyama tried to put some space between them, but Tsukishima immediately pulled him closer again.      

“What are you doing?”

Tsukishima turned, still smiling but talking quietly. “We’re dating, remember? People who are dating don’t usually keep the same distance that acquaintances do, now do they?”

Trying not to frown, Kageyama moved the smallest bit closer, so that they were almost touching elbows. Tsukishima made a pleased little hum, and Kageyama tried not to regret cooperating.

 

When they finally sat down outside, Tsukishima sat even closer than they had been while standing, their knees flat against each other. Kageyama tried to ignore it and open his lunch, but then he felt a hand sneak onto his own.

He flinched away, spinning his head around to glare at Tsukishima. The other only smiled in response before turning to open his own lunch.

After a few moments of normalcy, Kageyama felt it again—this time, a hand on his leg. Kageyama nearly jumped.

“Why do you keep doing that?!” He hissed out the whisper, his shoulders lifting in displeasure.

“Casual touches are to be expected. We’re dating, remember?” Tsukishima grinned; if anything, he seemed to be enjoying making Kageyama uncomfortable. “And we have to make it obvious—so obvious that no one could possibly doubt our story. Otherwise the plan won’t work.” Tsukishima placed a hand on Kageyama’s shoulder, pressing down until it was in a regular relaxed position, before dragging it slowly down Kageyama’s arm. “So try not to grimace so much.”

Kageyama suppressed a shiver. He wasn’t completely sure he could get used to this.

 

* * *

 

It turns out, he had to.

Practice had only just started when Tsukishima ran over and slung an arm around his shoulders, causing Kageyama to go rigid in the middle of the gym. A few people, seeing the out-of-place friendliness, started staring at the two. Kageyama felt his face heating up with embarrassment; Tsukishima leaning in to whisper in his ear didn’t make it any better.

“Just a heads up, expect a lot of touching today. We both need the practice.”

Kageyama nodded shallowly. At that moment Hinata shouted for Kageyama to help him with his warm up stretches, and both of their heads rose to attention. Before Kageyama could get a word out of his moth, Tsukishima answered for him.

“Sorry shortie, but Kageyama’s with me today.” He sounded a bit too pleased with himself. Sugawara gave them a sly smile.

“And what’s up with you two today?”

Tsukishima turned and gave Suga a small smile. “We started dating.”

No one was expecting that answer, with exception of a few who had heard rumours (“What? They were true?!”). Practice was thrown into temporary chaos as everyone started asking questions, most of which Tsukishima handled. Eventually Daichi clapped his hands and made everyone start focusing on practice, but not without plenty of questions thrown in between.

“Didn’t you hate him, Tsukishima? What happened to all that ‘king’ stuff?” Hinata, currently pressing on Yamaguchi’s back during stretches, gave Tsukishima a skeptical glance.

Kageyama relaxed the pressure of his hands as he felt Tsukishima start to straighten his back. He didn’t expect Tsukishima to recline until he was leaning against his side, though, or for him to lay his head on his shoulder.

From his new spot, Tsukishima gave Hinata the most deadpan face and monotone voice he could manage. “The only king he is now, Hinata, is the king of my heart.”

Yamaguchi started laughing too hard to finish his stretches, and Kageyama looked too mentally drained to continue. Tsukishima amused himself by cuddling closer into his side, occasionally laughing at the faces Kageyama made.

 Interestingly enough, they managed to convince pretty much everyone that they were dating. Tanaka and Nishinoya joked about how cute they were together, especially when Tsukishima slipped in a casual gesture of intimacy. While it wasn’t vital to overdo it during practice, it was the best time to practice their act, since it was the most time they spent together during the day. Tsukishima explained this all to Kageyama during a break (all while sitting far too close for comfort and resting a hand on his bicep).

“Yamaguchi already knows, partially because he suggested the plan in the first place, but don’t you tell anyone. Especially not Hinata,” Kageyama closed his mouth, “he’s probably no good at keeping secrets. Anyway, we only need to keep this up until everyone is convinced I am without a doubt not interested in women, and then we can cut it off. Goodbye stalker, goodbye annoying confessions.”

“Hey, what are you two whispering about? Sweet nothings?” Tanaka laughed, and Kageyama pulled away from Tsukishima on instinct. Tsukishima had the nerve to frown.

“Hey Kageyama, aren’t you being a bit rude to your boyfriend? You keep frowning, too!” Nishinoya appeared beside Tanaka, wagging his finger condescendingly. Kageyama made a panicked expression.

“W-we just started dating this morning!” He quickly turned to Tsukishima, looking for support.

“He isn’t a fan of public displays of affection. I’m still training him.” Tsukishima gave him a wry smile, and the sempais broke out into laughter. Kageyama had the very distinct feeling he was being made fun of, but was distracted by Tsukishima’s hand inching its way down his arm. He wasn’t able to contain his shiver that time.

 

* * *

 

 

Within the next few days, Tsukishima made it a habit to visit Kageyama at lunch, sometimes sitting with him in the classroom but more often than not heading off so they could be “alone” together. 'Alone' actually meant secluded but where plenty of people could stumble upon them without difficulty. This happened a good deal, and they were both becoming experts at pretending other people did not exist.

Kageyama was quickly getting over his original reluctance as he surrendered himself to the situation. He was getting more comfortable about being touched, and now was able to make a few moves himself, delighting in catching Tsukishima off guard. While Tsukishima tensed up with the first few touches, he adjusted to it with annoying amounts of grace, often times reciprocating without batting a lash. Still, Kageyama began to understand Tsukishima’s original amusement with his own unprepared reactions, and they had begun a sort of tacit contest to catch the other off guard. It was becoming easier and easier to play a convincing couple as they began to tease  each other in earnest.

In fact, both of them were becoming aware of just how much they were beginning to enjoy their little rouse. It was becoming a bit concerning how effortless their warm exchanges were becoming, and occasionally they found themselves forgetting they were acting altogether. It all was just a bit too comfortable once they got the hang of it.

Neither of them were going to admit it, though. That would be stepping into dangerous territory, complicated territory, so both continued acting like they were acting.

 

* * *

 

 

It was quickly made evident that Tsukishima genuinely enjoyed skinship. However much he had been playing before, he now sincerely enjoyed throwing himself on Kageyama’s person. Touches continued during practices even when they weren’t strictly necessary.

“Good job today, Kageyama.” Tsukishima walked over after practice, easily giving words of encouragement that before both of them had tripped over. Kageyama returned the words as Tsukishima reached him and ran his hands through Kageyama’s hair without much thought. A few members averted their eyes from the display, still not quite used to it.

Tsukishima’s expression twisted into one of disgust. “Gross, your hair’s all sweaty.” He rubbed his hands on Kageyama’s jersey front, turning his face away with distaste. “All of you is sweaty. Shower, now.” Tsukishima grabbed Kageyama’s biceps and began pulling toward the locker room.

“Uh, I don’t need help—“

“Does it look like I care? Stop struggling.”

Someone shouted for them to ‘keep it PG’, but it didn’t deter Tsukishima one bit. He pulled Kageyama all the way to the showers, made him take off his shirt (which was really pushing it, Kageyama thought, though he knew Tsukishima didn’t mean it that way), and ordered him to bend his head into the shower. It was by far not an efficient way of doing things, but at this point they had gotten into a routine of Tsukishima giving orders and Kageyama reluctantly giving in. He lowered his head into the spray obediently, and Tsukishima began rubbing the shampoo into his scalp.

Tsukishima’s fingers felt good in his hair, and although his awkward posture was a bit uncomfortable, he actually found himself relaxing at the action. Tsukishima worked methodically, pressing his fingers into Kageyama’s scalp and adjusting when he thought Kageyama disliked something. The fact that their communication had improved was unquestionable at this point.

“Okay, raise your head.”

Kageyama did as he was told, the water dripping down his neck and torso. Straightening his back with a bit of a groan, he turned over his shoulder to look at Tsukishima. Their vision locked, and something… connected. Some wavelength traveled between them, something shared and instant and entirely unprecedented, maybe something that had been tensed and tensed this whole time and finally decided to snap. They both felt it. One moment they were just looking at each other in the shower stall, and the next Kageyama was kissing Tsukishima and pressing him against the wall.

The water was soaking both of them, but neither seemed to care. Tsukishima was clinging to Kageyama desperately, one hand in his hair and the other clutching his back. Time and place didn’t seem to matter, and neither did the fact that other than Kageyama’s shirt, they were fully clothed and under a showerhead. And, as they had gotten so good at it, they failed to notice other people slowly taking notice.

When Daichi hit a locker loud enough to make them snap out of it, they were forced to leave their stall and trudge up, still sopping wet, to their captain for a humiliating lecture. The members of the team who hadn’t fled made sure to snicker loudly at the two as they made their way out of the school.

 

* * *

 

 

The next day, the entire school was entirely convinced of Tsukishima’s sincerity concerning his orientation. Apparently, what had happened in the shower stall had not stayed there.

During their lunch break, Tsukishima looked up to find Kageyama standing at the doorway. He looked very, very aware of the attention he was getting from Tsukishima’s classmates, but attempted to hide his discomfort. “Tsukishima, you coming?”

Tsukishima looked over at Yamaguchi only to find him dead set on pretending to be busy. He stood up and walked to the door, and the two departed down the hall.

Today, they walked side by side without any thought. Their shoulders touched every now and then, and neither seemed incredibly bothered by it.

“Well, I doubt I’ll have any trouble with girls anymore. I haven’t heard anything about that stalker, either; she might have been very easily dissuaded, but I’m thinking Yamaguchi was imagining things.” He shrugged slightly, which caused their shoulders to bump again. “So, is it about time we call off this little charade?”

Tsukishima glanced at him from the corner of his eye just as Kageyama leaned in to kiss him. They both gave each other knowing looks.

“…Guess that’s a no.” Tsukishima gave his usual sideways smile, and they sat down to eat their lunch.


End file.
